How to find a therapist in New Jersey? Therapy and Diners... Same but different

I love a good Diner.  Who doesn’t!?!  And if you are from the New Jersey area you know that Diners are super popular. The beauty of a Diner is that they have such variety on their menu. You can enter the establishment at any time of day and get any type of food: breakfast foods (my favorite) to a dinner entree to dessert. Some (used to be more) are even open 24/7. 

How can a diner be like therapy? Why should therapy not be like going to a diner?

Diner in New York. Not open 24/7, very selective menu & high quality. Just like the qualities you want in a psychotherapist in New Jersey or Philadelphia.

Diners open 24/7... Fantastic! Therapists available 24/7, not so great. Here’s why:

Having access to therapy 24/7 is not helpful as you don’t build your own strengths, get a chance to try and develop those skills you learn in session, and work the muscles of therapy. That's why the long-term outcomes of these online mental health services like BetterHelp or TalkSpace will not work because you won’t get the chance to develop those skills when you are accessing someone all the time via texts.  You won’t get the chance to sit in some discomfort (of course if you are in crisis it is to go to the ER or call 911 … still you shouldn’t be reaching out to your Betterhelp therapist or your individual therapist).  When you sit in this discomfort you grow...you EVOLVE. 

Why we go to Diners and Therapy in New Jersey - Many, many reasons

Diners are the places where people come for all reasons. To pour their hearts out, after a late-night of fun, for dates, to start their day…. Seeking therapy is the same. There are many reasons why one would come to therapy. You have unresolved trauma. You are struggling with anxiety, stress, or depression. You and your partner are in search of couples counseling. You want to grow in your career or switch careers. You are feeling unsettled, life is passing you by with little enjoyment. You feel stuck or are spinning your wheels.

Therapy is a safe, welcoming place for expression

There is a sense of comfort at a Diner. A friendly, welcoming atmosphere just like your therapy session provides you. Meeting with your therapist whether in person or through telehealth should give you a sense of comfort along with creating a safe place to express yourself. Having a consultation session or engaging in some sort of communication with your potential new therapist is recommended. Maybe your friend, doctor, or family member recommended that person. That does not mean you will feel the same level of comfort and safety as them. Just like you might walk into a Diner everyone else loves and you feel Meh about it. The same goes for therapists. Ask your questions, read their bios, and see if there is a connection. Does your therapist make you feel seen, safe and secure to express yourself? If not, verbalize these feelings and if they don’t resolve perhaps that is not the right person for you. That is OKAY! Just like we all won’t agree on the same Diner. 

Therapy welcomes all on their journey to healing and personal growth

Diners welcome all walks of life and are open to all. Therapy does not discriminate against who can attend. It is open to all. And there isn’t one culture, socio-economic status, etc. that can’t have a positive impact from attending counseling sessions. True, not all therapists may be a good fit. Their background may not fit your needs or your stage of life. That is okay and actually good because you have the choice to find someone with whom you can feel safe and comfortable. You may need to consult with a few therapists to find the one that will be best for you. BUT you also may want to find someone who does challenge your thinking...this depends on your goal and focus for your therapy journey.  

Here’s the big difference between Diners and Therapy!

Diners have long, large menus. They cover the vast spectrum of foods and meals. Again, this is great for a Diner but not great for therapy. How can a Diner make everything spectacular when it covers so many items? Right? How often do you go into the diner and one item is fantastic and the other is mediocre or even worse awful? This happens because they are focusing on being general and covering all their bases. Sure you may settle for the Diner experience. The food fills your belly but it may still not be what you need. It doesn’t satiate you. It gets the job done, but that’s about it. 

Psychotherapists who Specialize in exactly what we need, what our focus is

Now let's look at therapy. You may find a therapist who generalizes in all interventions and mental health disorders or populations. Will they help you? Sure. Maybe. Hopefully.  But you are missing out! You are missing out on the person who specializes. Who really knows what will work for you, for the reason you are seeking therapy. In some/many cases, it can even be dangerous going to a therapist who has no training or experience in an area. 

Not Diner therapy.

It's like going to a Diner for tacos. Unless that Diner is known for tacos, you are not going to get exactly what you need or are looking for. Instead, going to a Mexican restaurant that specializes in tacos is the better choice. So when looking for a therapist, counselor, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist or anyone in the mental health field, look and seek out the person who specializes in what you need. Not the generalist. Not the Diner therapist. 

I’m ready to find a therapist in New Jersey for me and not a Diner therapist. Can we work together? 

If you are a client living in Philadelphia or New Jersey seeking teletherapy who wants to become unfrozen from anxiety or if you are a high achieving client that is feeling stuck and no longer has joy in their work or relationships. Let’s help you win back your life. You can read more about that here and schedule your free 15-minute consultation here.

Although I have worked with other populations in the past, I have evolved my practice to be one that only works with clients that are a good fit. Being a Diner therapist is something of the past and I have learned it does not give my clients the best outcomes. If you still feel stuck, then I’d be happy to hear about what is happening and help direct you to the right person. My specialties include highly driven clients who struggle with anxiety, depression, stress management, and/or struggle in their relationships, finding time for hobbies / social life, or reaching another level of career success.