The "Go Buy Milk" Strategy: Your Secret Weapon for Better Relationships
Beyond Words: The Power of Taking a Break in Relationships
One of my favorite strategies I teach my clients is to “Go Buy Milk”.
In order for you to go buy milk, you need to hop in your car, drive to the store, purchase the milk and then you come back home or wherever you were.
This applies to having a conversation when both parties are feeling HALF - hurt, angry/anxious, fearful/frustrated.
When we are grounded in HALF emotions, we will not HEAR what the other person is saying, we become irrational, we fight and you know the rest.
When we “go buy milk”, we are telling the other person that we are taking a break in the conversation to become WHOLE (worthy, happy, optimistic, loved, empowered) so that we can have a rational conversation, hear each other, and to understand. We may still not agree but we can come to a place of understanding.
Am I really going to be stocking up on cartons of milk!?!
NO! You will go for a walk, listen to music, talk to a friend or therapist, create art, or another task that makes you feel grounded in WHOLE emotions.
This may take a few minutes to a few hours to a few days. That is OKAY! You will still come back to the conversation when BOTH people are WHOLE.
This lowers stress, creates empathy and understanding, clears lines of communication, empowers self and supports healthy relationships.
