How to Find the Right Therapist: A Step-by-Step Guide

Mar 7

Starting therapy can be a life-changing decision, but for many, the process of finding a therapist feels overwhelming. Whether you're struggling with anxiety, depression, stress, or simply seeking personal growth, finding the right therapist is essential for effective healing.

As a licensed therapist, I know how intimidating this process can be. Questions like, "How do I find a therapist?", "What if I don’t click with them?", and "Can I even afford therapy?" are common concerns. This guide will walk you through everything you need to know to confidently find a therapist who fits your needs and makes you feel comfortable.

Why Therapy Matters

Therapy provides a safe space to explore your emotions, challenges, and goals with a highly trained professional. It’s not just for people going through crises; therapy is a valuable tool for anyone who wants to improve their mental health, relationships, or overall well-being. Studies show that therapy can help reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, improve communication skills, and increase resilience along with helping you grow into the place you want to be.

If you're on the fence about starting therapy, know that taking this first step is an act of self-care and courage!! Reading this is an act in taking your first step!! Congrats!!

Identify Your Needs

Before searching for a therapist, take some time to reflect on what you're looking for.

Consider:

Your main concerns: You may know exactly what your main area of focus: anxiety, trauma, relationship struggles, grief, stress management, self-esteem, etc. It is also normal to reach out based on a feeling: stuck, anxious, fearful, unhappy…
The type of therapy you might prefer: There are many types of therapy such as talk therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy, somatic therapy, EMDR for trauma, and couples therapy to name a few. You may have found a type that you are interested in trying. Often times, meeting with a therapist for a consultation can help guide what type you could truly benefit from.
Whether you prefer in-person or online therapy: In the past few years, there has been a huge transition into online from the standard of in-person. There are benefits to each. Online allows you more access to therapist outside of your immediate circle and more availability to schedule along with the reduction in time it adds into your week. As long as you are in a private space with internet or phone access, you can attend the session. Many people enjoy being in the comfort of their own home to do these sessions or in a private office at work. In-person allows for you to be in another space other than your usual environment which feels like a “treat” for some clients and works for those who don’t have privacy elsewhere to have a session.
Investment. When considering therapy, it's natural to think about budget, but it's important to remember that therapy is an investment in your mental and emotional well-being. One that pays off in ways you can’t put a price tag on. Just like people don’t hesitate to spend money on gym memberships, personal trainers, or even daily coffee runs because they see the value in those things, therapy is an investment in your most important asset: yourself. The more you invest in your healing, growth, and mental clarity, the greater the returns - stronger relationships, reduced stress, better decision-making, and an overall improved quality of life. Unlike material purchases, the benefits of therapy stay with you for a lifetime.

Knowing what you need will help you narrow down your search and find a therapist who specializes in your concerns.

Understand the Different Types of Therapists

Not all therapists have the same background, training, or approach. Here’s a quick breakdown of common types of therapists:

Licensed Professional Counselors (LPC), Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSW), and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFT): Trained to provide talk therapy for individuals, couples, and families. Someone with an LAC, LSW, MFT are not fully licensed and are still working on their hours for licensure with a supervisor to become licensed; interview the supervisor for fit too because they will be supporting your therapist.
Psychologists (PhD or PsyD): A psychologist with a PhD had coursework that emphasizes in research and theory, as well as clinical practice. A psychologist with a PsyD has a doctoral degree which typically focuses on clinical practice and assessment. A LPC and PsyD provide the services with a PsyD going the doctoral route instead of a masters.
Psychiatrists (MD or DO): Medical doctors who diagnose and treat mental health conditions, often with medication. They focus on medication management.
Coaches vs. Therapists: While life coaches offer guidance and goal-setting strategies, they are not licensed mental health professionals and do not diagnose or treat mental health conditions. Coaches can be a valuable tool too depending on their education and background. You can read more about the differences HERE!

Understanding these differences can help you choose the right professional for your needs.

Search for Therapists Using the Right Tools

Once you have a clearer idea of what you need, it’s time to start searching. Here are the best ways to find a therapist:

1. Ask for Recommendations

You might be feeling nervous about bringing up therapy with someone you know but most likely they have either been in or have someone close to them who has been in therapy. Research in the United States suggests that 50% of people have attended therapy at some point in their lives.

Friends and Family: If you’re comfortable, ask people you trust for therapist recommendations.
Doctors or Healthcare Providers: Your primary care doctor can refer you to a mental health professional.
People in your community: Don’t discount the barista at your favorite coffee shop, teachers, and other business owners who either network or who have chatted with therapists.
Workplace Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs): Some workplaces offer free or low-cost therapy services.

2. Search for Private Practice Therapists

Many of the best therapists operate private pay practices and do not accept insurance. You may still be able to find them through directories like TherapyDen, Psychology Today, and Inclusive Therapists.
Google search is your friend: Try searching “private practice therapist near me” or “LPC or therapist near me” or make it more specific “divorce therapy”, “self-care therapy”, “therapy for parents” on Google.
Look for therapists who specifically mention out-of-network billing or sliding-scale fees, which can make private pay therapy more accessible.
Private pay therapists have specialized training and more availability since they are not restricted by insurance policies, allowing them to offer deeper, more effective care.

3. Use Online Therapist Directories

Like anything these days, the below directories use their own algorithms so who shows up on top does not mean they are the top so still do your research and ask for consultation calls.

Psychology Today (psychologytoday.com) – One of the most popular therapist directories with filters for location, specialties, insurance, and more.
TherapyDen (therapyden.com) – A diverse and inclusive therapist directory.
Open Path Collective (openpathcollective.org) – A great option for affordable, sliding-scale therapy.
Zocdoc (zocdoc.com) – Helps you find therapists who take your insurance.
GoodTherapy (goodtherapy.org) – Another reputable therapist directory.

Therapy for Black Girls (therapyforblackgirls.com): A directory for Black women seeking culturally competent therapists.
Latinx Therapy (latinxtherapy.com): A directory focused on Latinx mental health.
Inclusive Therapists (inclusivetherapists.com): Connects people with therapists from diverse backgrounds.

Check for Compatibility

Finding the right therapist is about more than just credentials - you want someone you feel safe and comfortable with. Many therapists offer a free 15- to 30-minute consultation so you can see if they’re a good fit.

Here are some important questions to ask:

“What is your experience working with clients who have concerns similar to mine?”
“What is your therapy approach, and what methods do you use?”
“What is your availability, and do you offer virtual sessions?”
“How do you handle confidentiality and privacy?”
“What are your fees, and do you take insurance or offer superbills?”

Trust your gut! If something feels off, it’s okay to keep looking.

Why Private Pay Therapy Can Offer the Best Care

Many therapists accept insurance, but working with a private practice therapist who operates out of network can provide a higher level of care, better privacy, and a more inclusive experience. Here’s why private-pay therapy may be the best option:

More Personalized and Effective Care: Insurance companies often dictate the number of sessions and treatment methods, which can limit the effectiveness of therapy. Private-pay therapists tailor their approach specifically to your needs without restrictions.
Greater Privacy and Confidentiality: When therapists bill insurance, they must provide a mental health diagnosis, which becomes part of your medical record. Private-pay therapy ensures your information remains confidential and does not follow you on insurance claims.
Higher Commitment and Success Rates: Clients who invest in therapy financially tend to be more engaged and committed, leading to greater long-term success.
Access to More Experienced Specialists: Many of the most skilled and highly trained therapists work out of network because it allows them to focus on providing the best care rather than navigating insurance bureaucracy.
Inclusive and Culturally Competent Care: Private therapists can dedicate more time to creating a safe, inclusive space for diverse clients without insurance policies limiting treatment options.
Flexible Treatment Plans: You and your therapist can decide together how often to meet and how long therapy will last, rather than having it dictated by insurance.

While private-pay therapy is an investment, many therapists offer other options like intensives, group coaching programs, scholarships or superbills (which allow you to get partial reimbursement from your insurance). If high-quality, personalized care is your priority, finding an out-of-network therapist is the worthwhile choice.

Start Therapy and Evaluate the Fit

After your first session, take time to reflect on how you felt:

Did you feel heard and understood?
Was the therapist warm, professional, and nonjudgmental?
Did you leave the session feeling hopeful or clearer about your next steps?

If you don’t feel a strong connection, that’s okay. Finding the right therapist can take time. Give it a few sessions, but don’t be afraid to communicate how you feel with your therapist. If the vibe still feels off, then switch therapists if needed. Therapy is most effective when you feel comfortable and safe.

Green, Beige, Red Flags to Look For

Choosing the right therapist is a journey, and it's perfectly fine to explore different options by scheduling consultations before finding the one that suits you best. Being able to identify green flags can guide you toward someone who offers quality care, while keeping an eye out for red flags and beige flags helps you avoid unproductive therapy. At the end of the day, therapy should feel safe, encouraging, and healing.

Therapy hasn’t worked before or reasons you aren’t seeing a change

“Therapy is a powerful tool for self-discovery and personal growth. There are a few reasons why therapy may not be working for you, or why you aren’t getting the results you wanted. Understanding the reasons why therapy is not working is crucial to having success with either your current therapist or with a new one.” To read more on this topic I have a blog post for you right here with 11 Reasons Why.

YOU Deserve Support

Starting therapy is a courageous and powerful step toward better mental health. If you're feeling nervous, know that it's completely normal. The right therapist will meet you with warmth, understanding, and respect, helping you navigate life’s challenges with greater clarity and resilience.

No matter where you are in your journey, remember this: You don’t have to go through it alone. Support is out there, and you deserve it.

If you’re ready to take the first step, start searching today - your future self will thank you.

I know you are ready to transform your life and step into your fullest potential, aren’t you?

With over 15 years of experience as a licensed therapist, I offer personalized virtual therapy, coaching, intensives, and group programs, as well as in-person workshops designed to create lasting change.

If you’re ready to unlock your true potential, achieve your dreams, and live a life that feels aligned with your values, I’m here to help. Let’s start with a free 30 minute consultation where you can share your goals, ask questions, and discover how we can work together to make this transformation a reality. Book your call now and take the first step toward lasting change!

Abbey Sangmeister